Growing Up With 40 Brothers
Alumnus and houseparent Donnie Costigan shares his story about growing up at Boys Home and the values he learned along the way.
Supporting a Man of Honor
Rick Turner, resident 1965-69
After his parents underwent a painful divorce, Rick Turner came to live at Boys Home for several years. In his time here, he lived in Watkins cottage with 16 or 17 other boys. Rick doesn’t pretend that he enjoyed all of his time at Boys Home. He struggled in school, and he struggled being apart from his father and grandmother. But there were happy times too; like many young men, Rick enjoyed sports, especially baseball. One year his team went undefeated!
One memorable thing that Rick learned in his time at Boys Home was the value of good work ethic. Every day, the residents would participate in the work program, called “rack up.” The younger boys would pick up trash alongside the driveway, and the older boys would help with the mowing and landscaping on campus. The work program accomplished its goal; after leaving Boys Home, Rick was proud of his ability to work hard at a task and give it his all.
In 1986, Rick and his wife Gay moved from Texas back to Virginia. When Gay suggested they move to Boys Home, he responded by saying “when Hell freezes over!” However, years later, he heard from a waitress at Cucci’s that Donnie Wheatley was the executive director. Having been at Boys Home with Mr. Wheatley, Rick knew him to be a man of honor and wanted to support him. He started by giving money, and later began hosting fundraisers for Boys Home in his home town of Tidewater. In 2014, Rick and Gay moved to Boys Home to teach HVAC classes as part of the Applied Trades program that Mr. Wheatley started.
As a teacher, Rick appreciates being able to work with the students on a daily basis. He does his best to show the value of learning practical skills, and to show the residents them that there is life after leaving Boys Home.
A Hug, or a Kick in the Pants?
Danny Cale, resident 1974 – 1980
Danny Cale is originally from Baltimore, but his mother moved the family to Covington after his father’s death. At that time, Danny was 14 years old. Upon his mother’s death when he was 16, Danny came to live at Boys Home.
As an eighth-grade student, Danny was unable to write his name or read. For two summers, he attended Summer Literacy Program at the McGuffey Reading Center in Charlottesville. The center is and continues to be the oldest university-based reading center in the country. Danny, who had previously found reasons to not attend school, was now ready to change that trajectory. He became an honor roll student and earned academic awards while at Boys Home.
After a successful career with several companies, Danny decided to return to Boys Home. In his time here, he has been a house parent, support services coordinator, team leader, and maintenance worker. He is currently the maintenance supervisor and an instructor for the Applied Trades home wiring class. Although he won’t admit to being “anything special,” Danny is a great teacher, mentor, and friend to many students. From his unexpected talents (Danny is a talented chess player and also ranked 13th in the world at Call of Duty: Ghosts), to his knowledge of wiring and home repair, to his down-to-earth honesty, it’s no wonder the boys look up to him.
In talking about the Boys Home student population, Danny is insistent that “our kids are like any other kids.” Like any other kids, Boys Home students need love, support, and guidance. And, sometimes, they need some tough love! Danny dishes out both, saying, “I know when a kid needs a hug, and I know when a kid needs a kick in the pants. I do both of those things with love in my heart.”
Lessons Learned at Boys Home
Bobby Trice, Boys Home resident 1985 -1993
When Bobby Trice was a child, his father brought a couple jars of jelly home from his job at a jelly factory every week, because the family couldn’t afford dessert. The rundown apartment the family lived in smelled like cigarette smoke, and cockroaches lived in the walls. Eventually, his father stopped bringing home jelly, and food became scarce. The police brought Bobby home three times for playing in traffic, throwing rocks at cars, and smashing a car window with a brick. Realizing the family was struggling, the pastor from Bobby’s church started providing them with food and clothing from the food pantry and clothing closet at the church. Eventually, he connected the family to Boys Home, and Bobby arrived 2 months after his 6th birthday.
Bobby had a difficult time adjusting to life at Boys Home, where he was the youngest by at least two years. Some of the other boys picked on him, while others chose to look after him. Eventually, he settled in and excelled in sports and academics.
After completing the 8th grade, Bobby’s family situation had stabilized, and he returned home to start high school. However, he got involved with a group of kids in his neighborhood, which led to a series of poor choices. Over the next few years, school became an afterthought until he was three years behind his peers. He returned to Boys Home for a few months, but Boys Home sent him home again.
Bobby realized he needed to make a change when things at home took a turn for the worse. His neighbor was arrested on felony drug charges, his other neighbor was murdered, and a friend had been sentenced to life in prison at the age of 17. Realizing that he didn’t want that kind of life, Bobby’s early lessons from Boys Home began to resonate. The value of respect, discipline, and work ethic he had learned as a child began to make more sense. He enrolled in night school to finish his GED. A month later he enlisted in the Army to be a Combat Medic.
Twenty years later, he retired as a Master Sergeant, husband, father, college graduate, licensed nurse, and highly decorated combat veteran. Upon retiring, he returned to Boys Home as the Director of Support Services for several years and is again retired and enjoying life at Smith Mountain Lake.
