National Courtesy Month: Youth Character Building
Structured Programs Build Young Men’s Character
September is National Courtesy Month, and at Boys Home of Virginia, we’re celebrating with our theme for this year: “Rise with Respect.” It’s more than just a motto; it’s what we see happening every day when young men learn that respect for others starts with respect for themselves.
One tell-tale sign of a young man who has developed courtesy is when they can look you in the eye as he speaks to you. Instead of trying to be cool or hiding behind shyness, they are engaged.
This kind of character doesn’t happen by accident. It grows through daily practice in an environment that teaches and expects respect.
Why Character Building Matters for Youth
Building good character in young men takes more than just telling them to “be good.”
Research published in Applied Developmental Science shows that structured youth programs make a real difference in developing character traits like helpfulness, kindness, and trustworthiness.
The same study found that boys in programs like Boy Scouts showed significant improvements in:
- Helpfulness toward others
- Kindness in daily interactions
- Trustworthiness in relationships
- Hope for their future
What makes these programs work? It’s not magic— it’s consistent expectations, adult mentorship, and opportunities to practice good character every day. This is exactly what we practice at Boys Home of Virginia, all year round!
How Our Young Men Build Character
At Boys Home, character education is a weekly event. Development happens through our five core values:
- Respect
- Wisdom
- Discipline
- Curiosity
- Responsibility
Each value connects to courtesy and builds the foundation for young men to become contributing members of society.
Respect: The Foundation of Courtesy
No one forces our boys to stand when an adult approaches, to offer a chair out of courtesy, or to say “please” and “thank you.” Those quickly become habits as each new student learns the invaluable lesson that giving respect also earns him respect.
Because of their backgrounds, many young men who come here may initially be brittle or even hostile. But our communal living and caring adult supervision can quickly show a young man who’s seen more than his share of turmoil that life and relationships can offer much more.
Discipline: Structure That Builds Character
Our boys rake the yard. They tend to livestock. They do their homework and get to bed on time. This adds shape to life, so they become men of purpose and integrity, one little step at a time.
At Boys Home, we believe it doesn’t take a mobile app, an army of “experts,” or a cabinet full of medications to grow an outstanding man. All it takes is a stiff broom, a full notebook, a loud alarm clock, and waking up with purpose to put young men on the path to responsibility.
Responsibility: The Goal of Character Education
Our goal isn’t to build CEOs or senators. We believe that an outstanding man is one who can hold a job, stay out of trouble, and pay his bills. A man is as good as he can be when he works hard, loves his wife, and raises kids with good values.
What Research Tells Us About Youth Character Building
Studies on youth development programs show that engagement is the key factor in building character. When young men are actively involved in structured programs with clear expectations, they develop both moral character (like honesty and respect) and performance character (like perseverance and teamwork).
The research reveals several important factors for character growth:
Family Foundation
Positive parenting provides the starting point, but as boys grow older, schools and structured programs become increasingly important for character development.
School Environment
Teachers and mentors who are engaged and trained in character education make a significant difference in how boys develop respect and courtesy.
Peer Influence
During adolescence, peer groups become more influential. Structured programs help ensure that influence is positive rather than negative.
Program Engagement
The most important factor is how engaged young men become in positive activities. High engagement leads to greater character growth.
Sports and Character Development
Athletics play a crucial role in building character at Boys Home. Through sports, young men learn:
- Teamwork – Working together toward common goals
- Perseverance – Pushing through challenges and setbacks
- Fair play – Following rules and treating opponents with respect
- Leadership – Taking responsibility for team success
- Humility – Learning from losses and celebrating others’ victories
Sports provide immediate opportunities to practice courtesy and respect. Shaking hands after games, supporting teammates, and accepting coaching all build the habits that transfer to every area of life.
The Spiritual Component of Character
No life is complete without a spiritual component. As an outreach of the Episcopal Church, Boys Home encourages students of all religions to explore and embrace their spiritual side as part of growing into a mature, balanced life.
By modeling ethical, caring behavior with a spiritual mission, we offer young men the chance to gain wisdom from a spiritual foundation. This also motivates them to display servant leadership by providing a helping hand in the local community and beyond.
Our “Exit to Serve” motto puts character development into practice. Young men learn that genuine courtesy and respect mean looking beyond themselves to help others. Through community service projects and leadership opportunities, they discover the satisfaction that comes from making a positive difference.
This servant leadership approach teaches that character isn’t just about following rules – it’s about using your strengths and abilities to lift up others around you.
Courtesy as a Life Skill
During National Courtesy Month and throughout the year, Boys Home remains committed to building character through daily practice, adult mentorship, and high expectations. We’re not just teaching manners – we’re building the foundation for young men to rise with respect and succeed in life.
If you’re interested in learning more about how Boys Home builds character in young men, contact us to schedule a visit and see our “We Rise with Respect” philosophy in action.